Years pass on.


So, my first post was back in 2014, before my first daughter was born. I lost track of a lot of things, this blog included. Let’s fill in the gap!

Zoey Morgan was born on October 23rd, 2014. Yay!! It was supposed to a wonderful, magical experience. However, that wasn’t quite the case.

October 19, 2014

I went to a routine 28 week doctors visit, Zoey’s heart sounded great! Everything seemed a-okay except for my blood pressure. It was dangerously high (I can’t remember now how high it was), and my OB sent me right to the hospital, which was less than 3 minutes away. I walked in there expecting to be monitored like I’ve had done a few times before. This time when I went up to labor & delivery, I was walked into my very own room and given a gown. I sat there for a few moments, confused.. was I being admitted? Sure enough a few minutes later I was informed that I indeed was.

So, calmly I called and notified my Fiance, Justin, followed by my family and his family. They hooked me up to a few monitors, blood pressure, leg circulation things, and hooked the baby up so we can monitor her activity and they also ordered an ultrasound.

Thus began the battle of: Time VS My Blood Pressure.

The goal was to get me to 35 weeks.. I was in for the long haul. During my week long stay, I had magnesium, two shots to help Zoey’s lungs develop quicker and my rh- shot.

Fast forward to October 23rd, 5am.

I ‘woke’ up bright and early. I use the term woke loosely because between all the things I was hooked up to, and the nurses coming in and out to check on me through out night, I barely slept. The nurse collected my 24 hour urine sample, and went about her normal routine. At around 6am several nurses and a doctor rushed in. Now, I’m at this point ready for nearly anything. I had been poked, and prodded so much that needles were nothing now. However, I didn’t expect them to tell me to call my family. They quickly informed me that I had developed what they were trying to avoid. Severe Preeclampsia*. Which meant I needed an immediate Emergency Csection.

*Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication that causes high blood pressure, kidney damage, and other problems. Preeclampsia is a potentially life-threatening condition that affects about 5 percent of pregnant women in the United States.

I was given magnesium intravenously, while I called Justin. Then I called my Dad and told him what was going on. After hanging up with him.. I remember joking around with the nurses a bit, trying to stay positive. Justin soon arrived and scrubbed up, my parents arrived as I was being wheeled out. We said I love you and I told them everything was going to be fine!

I was terrified.  I had two fibroids that if nicked, could cause me to loose lots of blood. I was given the spinal, and as soon as I was numb they started. I could feel pulling.. and loads of pressure. I was so scared. Justin looked as pale as a ghost as he sat there holding my hand. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I just focused on breathing. Then all of a sudden we heard a little animal like squeaking cry. My blood pressure plummeted and I vomited twice and almost lost consciousness. The nurse quickly administered something to bring my pressure up. The little alien like cries continued and we knew she was breathing. Doctor McNulty brought our tiny 2 lb 7 oz baby around briefly for us to meet her.. we got to say hi and tell her that we loved her before she was whisked away to the NICU*.

*The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) is where your newborn will stay for days, weeks, or possibly longer, depending on the baby’s degree of prematurity. This department or area in the hospital is where hospital staff care for newborns who have medical complications, or babies who have been born prematurely.

Immediately after they took Zoey, and they stapled me up, I told Justin to go check on Zoey.. and to take a picture.


These are her first pictures.

Justin called me once he got there and the first thing he said was “Jeni? She’s alive. She’s breathing and alive.” The next 24 hours was crucial in determining how Zoey was going to handle being born 11 weeks early. The nurse told me if I was able to walk and urinate on my own then I could go see her. Well, I’ve never been so damned determined. I refused pain medication, as soon as I felt my legs tingling about an hour later, I was sitting up and getting ready to walk my ass to that bathroom and piss. I stood and needed no help as I hobbled my way across the room and into the bathroom, dragging my iv stand with me. (I was still on magnesium, antibiotics and fluids since I couldn’t eat for 24 hours).  I sat down and pissed. It was frigging awful. It was more painful than walking! Once I was finished, I wiped my tears and with my dignity and determination unaltered, I emerged back into the room and demanded my wheelchair. I was going, and no one could stop me.

I remember seeing her for the first time.. She was impossibly small, yet I knew she was strong. She kicked and kicked her tiny legs, and then settled down. I recall wondering if we’d actually be able to bring our baby girl home. I wasn’t able to hold her for two days, but when I did.. it was the best feeling in the world.


She did well during her stay, no brain bleeds. Everything seemed like it was going smoothly, until I was discharged. I have to say, walking down the hallway in the direction to the parking garage elevators without my child.. past parents leaving with their newborns, was the single hardest thing I’ve *ever* had to do in my entire 29 years of living. There I was, walking slowly, my hand on my stapled wound, stopping to take breaks because of the pain both physically and emotionally. So now I would sleep, wake up, call the NICU while pumping breast milk, then go to the NICU most of the day, then go home and pump more while crying, call the NICU, sleep and repeat.

We spent 44 days in the NICU.

And then, on December 6th, we were discharged! I was finally one of those Mom’s leaving with their baby! Zoey was 4lbs 7ozs, she had an apnea monitor and we had to give her caffine every day.

But she was ours finally, and then she began to grow!


And then…


We were expecting our 2nd baby! Sydney Rey’s (Rey.. from Star Wars: Force Awakens, I had to get one in there..) gestation was mostly uneventful! I made it to 35 weeks when I was diagnosed with mild preeclampsia and we scheduled a csection for May 9th, I wasn’t allowed to go past 37 weeks.

So, let me introduce my littlest gal!

And we continued growing!

And then Sydney turned 1!

And now we’re pretty much all caught up! I’m going to attempt to actually do this blog thing, and keep up with it too.

♡ So for now, keep on geeking on!





Let’s start off with an introduction, shall we?

Welp, I never know how to begin these things.

I’ve never felt the need to blog about much of anything, this is actually my first attempt and I doubt people will actually read things I jot down here. But! It’s not for everyone, it’s mainly for me. I suppose I’m looking to get my feelings and emotions out there, and maybe get some feedback while I’m at it.

I’m a 29 year old female, from Pennsylvania. I’m in a stable, and happy relationship, living in a decently sized apartment. We have two cats named Ghandi, and Rusty. My hubby and I enjoy many similar things such as Larping, movies, and video games. I suppose you could say I’m a bit of a nerd. I’m 21 weeks pregnant today! Woo!

Being pregnant and making it this far is actually a huge accomplishment for us. In the past few years I’ve miscarried two pregnancies, neither made it very far. So this little one has been my miracle all along! However it’s not all cupcakes, butterflies and sunshine, although there are fantastic moments and tons of firsts. Along with this pregnancy there has so far been a ton of scarey information, most of which I really don’t have any answers to yet, and I imagine that my heart won’t be settled until I’m holding our little bundle in my arms.

This blog is here for me to share all of my worries, hopes, and dreams.. all of the bits that make me.. well, me I guess.